I Would Never Fuck You
2026 · 10m · USA
Directed by Mika Lungulov-Klotz, Alanna Murray
Tones: absurdist, tender, whimsical
A woman rehearses confessing her crush using miniature figurines, with the catch that older male actors play the young female roles. Yearning gets a deadpan dollhouse makeover.
Picked by Felix
The scouts
The title alone earns it a slot, but the gag of casting old men as the young women in the figurine rehearsal is the kind of unhinged formal swerve I live for. Romance films should be required to take at least one weird oath before screening.
Older men cast as the young women in figurine-rehearsed confession scenes — Lungulov-Klotz and Murray crossing Charlie Kaufman miniatures with Joanna Arnow deadpan vulnerability. The casting is the formal gesture.
Confession-rehearsals with miniature figurines is sweet enough; casting older male actors as the young women in the rehearsal scenes is the choice that makes it sing. Charlie Kaufman miniatures crossed with Arnow deadpan is a specific, defensible reference point.
Reviews
Low-key yet highly imaginative, Murray and Lungulov-Klotz offer a fresh perspective on contemporary yearning.